Generated Title: Blackstone's Analyst Program: A Hunger Games for Overachievers?
Okay, so Blackstone's analyst program is now harder to get into than Harvard? Give me a freaking break. 0.2% acceptance rate? That's not a job; that's a lottery ticket for the terminally ambitious.
The Cult of Blackstone
Let's be real, Blackstone's always been a magnet for the "future masters of the universe" types. Jon Gray starting there straight out of college and never leaving? That's not inspiring; it's... well, it's a bit Stepford Wives, ain't it? Everyone smiles, nods, and drinks the Kool-Aid for 30 years.
And now they're grooming 'em younger and younger. Sophomore year programs? Seriously? It's like they're trying to create a Blackstone Borg hive mind.
Brigitte Webb, bless her heart, started networking as a sophomore. She says hearing about the acceptance rate was "surreal" after all her hard work. Surreal? Honey, it's dystopian. It underscores the importance of kissing the ring early and often, more like it. This isn't about finding the best talent; it's about identifying the most compliant. It's harder than ever to get an entry-level role at Blackstone
The firm's head of campus recruiting, Taylor Kanfer, says they engage with over 1,000 universities now. 1,000? What are they, a dating app for future financiers? It's impressive, offcourse, but also kinda terrifying.
The Real Estate Gamble
Blackstone buying the SF Four Seasons? Okay, that's interesting. A $130 million bet on San Francisco's "economic recovery." I put "economic recovery" in quotes because I'm not entirely convinced SF is actually recovering. Falling crime rates and crackdowns on homeless encampments? That's great PR, but it doesn't solve the underlying problems. Blackstone buys SF Four Seasons amid hotel market comeback
They're hoping the Super Bowl and World Cup will bring in a surge of visitors. Short-term gains, sure, but what about the long haul? Is this a smart investment, or just a desperate attempt to pump up the numbers? The hotel occupancy rate is up, but RevPAR is still way below pre-pandemic levels. I dunno, feels like they're trying to catch a falling knife.
And Westbrook Partners had to slash their asking price by 50 million? Ouch.
Europe and the New Guy
Then there's Franck Petitgas, ex-Morgan Stanley bigwig, now Vice Chairman of Europe at Blackstone. He says he's joining "the most consequential firm in investing today." Translation: "I want a piece of that sweet, sweet Blackstone pie."
Schwarzman says Petitgas's relationships will "support Blackstone as it accelerates its efforts to finance, build, and scale businesses and critical infrastructure." More like, "We need someone who knows how to schmooze European politicians and get us deals."
$500 billion into European opportunities over the next decade? Digitalisation, AI, electrification... it all sounds very buzzword-y. What does it really mean? More data centers? More AI-powered surveillance? I'm not sure, and frankly, I'm a little scared to find out.
